This isn’t safe. Google knows too much about you.

This isn’t safe. Google knows too much about you.

It’s been said that surfing the internet with Google is like riding a skateboard without a helmet. Who said that? Well, for one, it was said by a rat flying off his skateboard while his helmet was flying in the other direction.

But I disagree. I mean what’s the big deal. They’re Google. Big friendly Google!

All the stuff that Google collects is meant to just help us, right? Like for example we all know Google collects our search history. That’s a given. Collecting our search history is an important part of optimizing our web experience.

As an example, let’s take a look at mine. I’m sure a quick examination of this will demonstrate just how important it is for Google to remember what I search for.

Well, that’s embarrassing. I guess there is really no explanation for this other than that I wanted to see a rat on a skateboard. But really, who wouldn’t?

The important thing is that Google uses this information for… something. And I love Google!

Ok fine, so the search history is not really useful in helping optimize my web experience. But there are other things the Google knows that really help me. For example, Google tracks my location and that helps them… Um…. It helps them help me….do….something?

Look I’m not really sure what it helps me do. And how much could they really know about me just by looking at my location? For example, they could never know that last Saturday night I had a few too many beers, crushed a hot cuban sandwich, and then immediately began drinking again 11 minutes later.

Damnit.

Ok fine, so I went to the Biergarten then got a sandwich and realized I wanted to drink more. Then I went drinking after that, followed by more drinking. Damn you, Google. This is actually pretty frustrating.

Wait I have an idea. Why don’t I just delete myself from the internet. Yes, that’s it! I’ll simply remove every piece of information about me that’s out there.

And seeing as I have no idea how to do that, there’s only one way to find out.